A Game of Longing
by Adelaide205
Summary: In a world of fear and death, pain and suffering, it seems appropriate for two boys with nothing to seek each other in comfort and passion. Armin admits his love and Eren makes a promise. ArminxEren


Fabulous readers,

Hey, I recently got obsessed with this fucking story, so here I am to spread it around like some nasty cold. Hope you enjoy it.

-Nope, don't own it. Consider yourselves disclaimed *flash dance*-

In the midst of the hottest months, there was not much for two trainees to do but sit and seek out shelter beneath the large, green trees. It wasn't often that they had down time; between the drills, the yelling, the tests, all they could do was work. Their lives as cadets was a strict schedule of all work and no play.

Armin prided himself in his studies and scores, but there were moments where he could not help but curse the endless months of rigorous training, ruthless beating. Eren, though, seemed content with this life. He trained often and he trained hard, pushing himself to be the best, though being the best did not come naturally. It seemed to Armin that Eren had to work twice as hard when it came to any challenge.

Naturally, the sight of that stubborn friend of his beneath the tree, with eyes closed and a relaxed expression, was a shock, but was also a welcomed sight. Eren often talked to Armin about the trials ahead and the difficulties they posed, and in return, Armin was there to stay beside his friend as they trained on past the time other cadets had already ceased. Like Mikasa, Armin was Eren's faithful. Just as he followed him in childhood, so did he follow him as they entered through the threshold of adulthood.

Following Eren often lead him into places he'd rather not be, deep in the woods late at night for moonlight training sessions, in their room without supper for mistakes, or reckless behavior on Eren's part. Occasionally, though, Armin would find himself in places of peace as he stuck by Eren's side; places like this spot in the grass, beneath the scent of the wind and the rustle of the leaves. He inhaled and ran his fingers through the grass.

Off in the distance, they could hear the sounds of the other cadets milling about their daily tasks, doing chores and their part for the greater collective. They had finished for the day, and Eren seemed set on plopping down firmly on the earth. He stared ahead, watching the wall as though it would move.

They never spoke of their fears of that titan; each boy understood all too well the unspoken knowledge that nowhere was safe. Armin often caught himself looking to the wall with a small look of fright . Fright for Eren, though, was more of a longing. Both boys would stare off to the same horizon, but both would think different things. Eren did not demonstrate fear, but a strange wanting, as though he dared the titans to show themselves everyday.

It was hurtful to see Eren so obsessed. Armin would do anything to take that look away, even just for a few moments.

Where friendship was, passion accompanied it. Their romance had begun when their late night training sessions sometimes turned to frustrated desire for each other. Their bodies had comforted each other when words could not be enough. Their aching bodies only met more pain in satisfying sex, and this kept them alive. This kept them strong.

It was foolish to find love in the bonds of soldiers, but it was foolish to never know love in life. What could two orphans do? They had no homes, no families, no means to experience love and marriage; they only had each other's bodies and that was good enough for them.

Armin wiggled closer to Eren whose breath came out in shallow little breaths as he watched the rolling clouds string along the sky above their cage. Eren did not look at him; he barely blinked at the movement so near to him. He was caught in a daze, a dare with fate perhaps. Armin lay a hand on his chest and felt the heart and sturdy lungs work beneath his bones and flesh. He opened his mouth and the tree above them shuttered in the wind.

There was no sound that slunk from Armin's lips. He shut his mouth as Eren reached for his hand and held it. Eren did not pull his eyes away from the sky. His face did not change. He just stared on.

Armin sighed and stood, being so bold as to step in front of Eren, blocking his view. "We graduate in a few days," he stated clearly.

Eren blinked and nodded in agreement; his eyes stared straight towards Armin, their gazes locked.

"And we'll be joining the Survey Corps soon," he said, again with a clear voice.

Eren nodded.

Armin knelt, crouching over Eren's outstretched legs. He lay and hand on his chest, looking into those eyes that now saw him. He blushed, but spoke on. Speech, plans, these were talents of his, though he considered them to be useless in the art of combat. "We might not have many opportunities in the future," he said quietly.

Slowly Eren sat up, raising his hand to Armin's face. He traced the spots on his cheek where his hair grazed upon his skin. "Armin," he said quietly as he leaned in close, directing his soft breath towards Armin's flushed cheeks.

It seemed that both of them knew they would not have an eternity with each other; that much had been clear to them. Though Armin declared his loyalty and wanting to follow Eren, how far could he go in a world of chaos? He shifted and reached for Eren's hand, turning his head and looking down to the ground. He sniffed.

It seemed that there was no point to comfort in moments like that. The action of the body often spoke louder than the action of the mouth. Eren leaned to kiss at those wet spots on Armin's cheekbones. His tongue slipped out and wiped all traces of tears away. He licked his lips from the salty taste and smiled mischievously at Armin, standing and outstretching his hand to him. "Let's waste no time then."

Armin was beside himself as he gripped onto Eren's offered hand. He was being pulled, guided down the grassy hills and towards the storage house on the training grounds. It would have been foolish to risk themselves being discovered out in the open. Never would they be so careless as to embrace in the open light of the day.

For a moment, they seemed to be two teenagers acting their proper age. Lovers that knew nothing else beyond each other, searching for a quiet place, laughing and playing games of hide and seek with society. They allowed themselves the pleasantries of smiles as they slipped into the storehouse, shutting themselves in the darkened room.

Eren was not one to wait; he was impulsive and in his impulsiveness, he was brutal and direct. He wasted no time in pressing Armin to a nearby crate, capturing his waist and pinning him against the rickety old wood.

His pants were unzipped, his shirt was practically torn from him. He shuttered and muffled a whimper as he delicately pressed his palms to Eren's chest. He was not as forceful as he slipped his hands beneath his shirt. He did show determination, though, as he removed the article of clothing, slipping it off of Eren's body and tossing it off into some old, dusty corner.

Eren was kneeling before Armin now, pulling his pants down his waist. The younger boy couldn't help but shuffle and struggle to kick his shoes off so that his pants could be removed properly. He blushed as move. He bent and stumbled, leaning on Eren's shoulder as he pulled off his shoes and finished slipping his pants down his legs. Eren buried his face between Armin's legs and nipped at his exposed erection, licking at him and tasting his head.

Armin choked and buckled, gripping his fingers through Eren's hair. He couldn't help but buck into that mouth instinctively for a few short moments before Eren pulled away and pushed Armin back agains the crate, forcing him to stay there simply by the look in his eye. His eyes were fierce, more demanding than his mouth. They were a metallic blue, pricing and sometimes frightful. Armin found them to be comforting and often thought of those eyes alone in his moments of fear. He swallowed thickly as Eren loosend his own pants around his hips, pulling free his penis from his undergarments.

Armin shuttered and spread his legs from where he stood, letting Eren come closer. The elder of the two spat in his hand, wasting no time with preparation and foreplay. Armin kept his gaze locked with Eren's as his body was breeched and fingers slid within him. After months of practice, the two boys had developed the best way for each other, they had hardened Armin's meekness until he was able to keep quiet his whimpers as Eren moistened him. Eren had his duty as did Armin. He shut his eyes, his face now completely red, and pulled his fingers to his lips, sucking on them, before allowing them to slip down to Eren's hardened flesh.

Eren breathed hard into Armin's ear, allowing a simple moan to escape and flatter the other who worked on him. Ever forceful, Eren pressed his body closer, suffocating Armin as he worked on his backside. His free hand trailed down the length of Armin's body, down to the round of his thigh where he gripped into the flesh and raised the limb up onto his hip.

Eren's fingers disappeared from inside Armin's body. He was being hoisted up, back flat against the crate as another appendage came pressing against Armin's rear. He shifted uncomfortably, but was powerless to fight against the stronger body. He accepted his position and relaxed his body as that familiar stinging sensation jolted through him. He let out a silent scream as the blunt of Eren's erection buried itself deep within him.

They kissed, pausing to shared a sigh between their locked mouths. Each body trembled as they allowed themselves a moment's silence.

Tears welled in Armin's eyes as Eren parted from his lips and began to shift and rock his hips, thrusting up and in. Frustration reared its beautiful head as Eren quickened and demonstrated his dominance over Armin who gladly accepted it. He was one that knew his place in the world. He was a cadet in the army, a boy in the face of man; he was Eren's.

Stick sweet tears poured from Armin's shut eyes as his body swelled with heat and pain. He squinted through his tears as his body rocked and moved against the wood at his back. He leaned his head on Eren's slender shoulder, reveling the feel of the other's ragged breath against his own heavy head. He gazed over at his legs, dangling off of Eren's hips like some doll's, fair and slender. His toes curled as Eren drove deeper and willed him into the world of pleasure.

His fingers gripped into Eren's shoulder blades. How many times had they done this? Shared this sacred passion and never spoke of it? Were they lovers, or just two souls afraid of being alone? Armin whimpered against the crook of Eren's neck and attempted to mumble something. His tongue moved sluggishly and his words got lost somewhere in his throat.

Eren's fingers dug into his thighs, surly there would be new bruises for Armin to hide from the others in the showers. They were lost in each other, somewhere between mocked happiness, and animal instinct. How many times in the future would they experience this with each other again? The Survey Corps was a dangerous position. How long would they have?

It seemed like there was still so much for Armin to do with Eren, to say to him; a life time of words, and he would have to condense that down into each, precious day of survival.

Eren, feeling Armin's body begin to shake, slowed his movements and pulsed within him gently. He loosened his grip on Armin's flesh and merely held him there against him. He nudged his nose against golden locks, breathing in the scent of him and sighing in content. He held Armin and backed away from the wall. His erection slid from Armin's wet, ragged body.

Carefully he knelt and sat on the dirt floor of the storage. Armin sat in his lap and laced his fingers together behind Eren's neck. His eyes were red from all the whimpering he had been doing. He was ashamed to show Eren and turned away, pulling his fingers away from his neck and wiping his face. He hiccuped as Eren ran his hand down Armin's cheeks.

He leaned back and simply looked at Armin, turning his head towards him with his hand. Armin sniffed and shrugged the emotions away as he squirmed and sat up, reaching between his legs and gripping onto Eren's penis, pushing it to him and slipping inside him with determination.

It wasn't often that Armin got a blush to spread across Eren's cheeks, but as he perched himself on top of him, Eren's face burned bright. He shut his eyes and shuttered, as he unfolded and outstretched his long legs, allowing Armin to straddle and ride him.

Armin rocked and swayed, bringing his hands down to rest on Eren's chest. In this position he was allowed to stretch and sit tall. His hips moved rhythmically as he slowly brought themselves to a gentle climax.

Their moans folded through the storehouse and disappeared in the rafters high above them before silence took charge in the moments of their fantasy before reality.

They shifted from each other, separating and moving to retrieve their clothes, each dressing in silence. Armin turned and stared at Eren's back. He opened his mouth, his voice coming out harsh and raspy from the tears and moaning he had done. It was like he had never spoke before and that this was his first time hearing his own self.

It was odd that in all their years together, all their months being so intimate, they had never said anything to each other about it. How many opportunities would Armin have to say anything to Eren? He thought he would have a life time to show his parents his love, but they were snatched away in instant when his life was yet still so young. This miserable life that they lead was not forgiving. Opportunity knocked on every door and it would be foolish to never answer.

"I love you. Even if we-if I don't live long, just know that I'll always love you," he said softly.

Funny that he had never said that before. Despite the fact that they had taken each other in sex, they had not yet shared intimacy with words. Eren's face turned bright red. He was like a blushing girl with a crush. This was no fancy that he had developed with Eren, but a bond that would only be broken in death.

He swallowed thickly as Eren turned to him, gazing at him softly in the shade of the storehouse. He was silent for a few moments as he tucked his shirt into his pants.

He took a breath and spoke clearly to the boy that dared to love in a world so uncertain.

"You will live long because I will always protect you, just as I always have."

Armin smiled, tears welling in his eyes once again. He smiled and nodded. "And I'll protect you!"

A/N There have some of those feels. Hope you enjoyed; I'm contemplating whether or not I want to elongate this into a mini story, or if I want to leave it as a oneshot. Let me know what you think! Hope you enjoyed reading.

-roll credits-

Later that night, Armin sat in the showers alone, he squirmed and whined softly. While Eren was snoring soundly in his bed, Armin was stuck pulling splinters from his backside.

He pouted and stared at his reflection in the mirror. "Why did I let him press me up against that dirty old crate?" he whined. "I'm an idiot!"


End file.
